Small Frustration

I went to the second knitting night at my local library last night. I really enjoyed it, despite Yarnkettle not being able to attend. I think I lost the knitting bug a while ago and this group makes me want it back. So, yay!

That said, a woman showed me a shawl pattern and I am DYING to make it. It was gorgeous and I’m pretty sure I have enough yarn in the stash. Unfortunately, I can’t find it. So I’m putting it out there and maybe one of you know what it is.

She called it a butterfly shawl but it had no butterflies on it. Maybe the shape is called butterfly? Anyway, it had two colors, but wasn’t striped. It had a shape sort of like this:

(image from Artesian on Ravelry)

but the yarnovers were stockinette stitch and in the second color. More similar to

(image from Triangle Shawl by Patons on Ravelry)

but that’s the wrong shape.

Anyone have any idea what I’m talking about? Help!



I’m sitting on the couch, tired but seaming a sweater-ish thing I’m working on. Is it a bolero? I don’t know. All I know is OP took one look at it the other day and decided she wanted it. Why is it kids want your finished products? Of course, if it looks like crap on me it’s hers.

We spent the weekend camping in our new tent. We purchased a Sylvan Sport camper over the winter and took it out in May with friends. We finally got it out again this weekend just the three of us. Actually, this is the first time we ever camped as just the three of us. And we all survived. I call that a win.

I am in love with our camper. It is just so fun and easy. We like a more basic camping experience with no kitchen sinks or TV, so it works for us. But there must be bathrooms. There must always be bathrooms. I will not squat in the woods.

We had a downpour on Friday night and because the tent is on a platform and not directly on the ground, we did not get wet. It was glorious!

We chose not to cook this trip and went to local restaurants in order to test out what we had and what we needed, without the stress of cooking and holding food at appropriate temperatures. I missed cooking, but we kept realizing things we needed for next time that I think it would have been too much to deal with. Definitely cooking next time. Hopefully there will be a next time soon.

It was an awesome experience, but not the greatest of camping trips. It was so hot. Like deepest level of non-Dante hell hot. We went into the local town and that seemed to be a mistake. Then, I took OP to the playground on Sunday which was, again, a mistake due to the oppressive heat that melted the skin off your face. But there were s’mores and that’s the most important thing to a 5-year-old.

Testing the camper when we bought it. In winter. When it was 30-something degrees out.

Testing the camper when we bought it. In winter. When it was 30-something degrees out.


I tried a new meditation app today, “Stop, Breathe, and Think.” My therapist recommended I try meditation to help with my compulsive eating issues. I tried a couple apps before and they were good, but this is more robust. There are many free themed meditations and you can do a self-led meditation if you want. I think. As I said, I just started it today. 

I should note, I am a meditation newbie. Meditewbie? So, if you actually can meditate while standing on a lilypad on one hand holding a cup of water like Nia from Ninjago, then this may not be for you. But maybe it is. What do I know. Meditewbie.

I did the first meditation this morning and had some trouble because I had an ASTHMA attack. Seriously?? I don’t have asthma, but apparently I do. I was focusing on my breathing and it was not going well. But I did feel better after the kindness meditation. I even felt kinder for most of the morning. Well, maybe an hour, but still.

Sunday Movies

Much of Sunday was spent watching movies. We started with The Monuments Men. It was a really fun movie. The acting was great and the story was interesting. The violence was a bit over the top, but not horribly so.

The second movie, sadly, did not live up to the first, although I did not expect it to do so. We watched Transformers: Age of Extinction. I know what you are thinking. Why would I expect that movie to be any good? I didn’t. I saw the first three and while the first was fun, they became progressively worse. I went into it thinking it would follow the trend of its predecessors. 

For the first half of the movie, I was wrong. It actually started off well. Then, they introduced the transformers and they were comic relief. Why must this movie series try to design the autobots for 4 year olds? Then there was a relentless chase scene remeniscent of the second Matrix movie. That is to say it was about 40 minutes too long. Chase scenes should be more like a fine wine than a cheep beer. They should be…um…I don’t know, but they shouldn’t drag. 

Finally, there was the daughter. She almost started off like a three dimensional character. Then, in true Transformers movie tradition, she was demoted to annoying girl who was pointless and a screaming lump. Drove me nuts. I kept hoping that maybe her character would be killed off or frozen until the end. 

So, go rent The Monuments Men. See Transformers: Age of Extinction but only when it’s free on TV.

All Good Things

Well, I missed two days, but that’s okay. We had people over on Saturday, and after cleaning and sociallizing, I had no inclination to write. Then, Sunday was my anniversary and, well, I chose to spend time with the Husband. Had he napped, there would have been a post. Alas, no nap.

A few months ago, the perfectionist in me would have focused on the fact that I didn’t post and did not complete the 30 day challenge. After a few months of therapy I have come to realize there are much more important things in life than being perfect. And missing a goal isn’t the end of the world. You are not a bad person for failing.

This is something I’m trying to apply to food and hope to teach to others. We live in a world of diets that demand we avoid fat, eat all fat, eat no carbs, eat clean food, avoid sugar, eat protein, only eat certain colors, eat food X if you’re AB positive… You get the idea. These diets and their rules are creating a culture disordered eating. We eat a cookie, which we can’t have because gluten-sugar-fat-carb-stuff, and we think we failed. We ate a bad food therefore we are bad. Because we’re bad we may as well eat another cookie. And when you eat that second cookie you validate that you are bad and are worthless and thus starts the guilt-binge-guilt cycle.

But here’s the thing, the big secret. There is no such thing as bad food. There is no such thing as good food. There is no such thing as a super food. Food is just food with different nutrient profiles. Just because a cookie isn’t the nutrition powerhouse of kale, doesn’t make it bad. It just makes it a cookie. So why do we attach guilt to that cookie? Because we have been brainwashed by marketers with a new diet that we can only look perfect if we avoid that cookie. We’ve been told that we can only be a size two if we are strong and are good. And really, aren’t size twos the only attractive people? They are the ones with beautifuly spouses and beautiful homes and beautiful lives. Life is perfect when you are a two so if you aren’t perfect and don’t avoid that cookie, you failed. You may as well have that piece of cake in the breakroom and the candy in your cabinet.

It’s a nasty cycle. The only way out is to change your thinking. If you want a cookie, eat the damn cookie. It’s just a cookie. It is not bad. YOU are not bad. You just wanted a cookie. Let it go. Eat it, enjoy it, and move on with your day. If you can’t stop eating them or can’t let go of the self-loathing eating that cookie brings, then there is something else going on. The cookies are a symptom of a bigger issue. Not sugar addiction as some marketers want you to believe, but usually an emotional cue. You need to look inside and figure out why. Are you numbing yourself? Killing time? Is there an emotion attached to that food?

It’s not easy, but breaking years of diet brainwashing isn’t going to be easy. Forgive yourself, hug yourself, and enjoy the damn cookie.

FO: Slouchy Beret

Pattern: Star Crossed Slouchy Beret
Yarn: Malabrigo Yarn Merino Worsted

UntitledJust missed Friday, but I figure if I haven’t gone to bed yet it still counts as day 8! AND FO Friday! Haven’t had one of these in a while.

I made a slouchy beret! Like 2 years ago! I’m really far behind on finished object posts!

Was this hat a sad attempt to be in style? Maybe, but I think saying “in style” disqualifies it from ever being trendy.

This one was frustrating to make simply because I didn’t trust the pattern. Trust the pattern, people. The yarn was/is so yummy and nice to work with. I’m 99% sure I used Malabrigo yarn, but apparently, I didn’t write it down in Ravelry and I am not searching my stash for it at 11:57 at night.

I do like the hat, though it took a while to get used to it. It just doesn’t feel as secure as a “normal” hat feels, but it doesn’t fall off so I consider that a win. It is surprisingly warm, which was much loved this winter.

It’s late and my thoughts apparently are like an old wire. Hat was made. Stop. It is warm. Stop. Go to bed. Stop.

Of course, a little someone likes the hat, too.

Of course, a little someone likes the hat, too.


7 days! I think. I didn’t think I’d get past two, so yay me.

I’ve been debating whether I should write nutrition-related posts. It’s my new career and it would be good practice, but I think I’m afraid to put myself out there like that. I can talk about the craziest things–bowel movements, blood, gory details of pregnancy–but I’m wary about nutrition. I think because it’s such a contested topic. Media and “nutrition” bloggers say one thing, but the science shows something else. Unfortunately,  the science is not as sexy and people believe quacks or sensationalism. I’m not sure I want to put myself out there and have attacks from toxic-free, colon cleanser food experts with whom I disagree.
I need to think about it more before I decide what I want to do.