I kind of lost my knitting mojo about a year back and only recently have begun to find it again. I think a lot of it had to do with the type of projects I was working on. I was working on massive shawls for people. I enjoyed working on the projects, but I had set unrealistic timelines and stressed over getting everything done. Stressing yourself out over something you love is not a good idea. The projects I made for myself were all gray and/or I didn’t like the end project as much. I didn’t feel that what I made for me was as nice as what I made for others and I just didn’t want to wear them as much because I saw all the flaws. I started a project, a blanket to be precise, that I had hoped would get me out of this knitting funk, but no. It did not. It was a giant mess and I have all these little blanket squares that will most likely never see the light of day.
So I had all these projects, and because of one thing or another, they just made me frustrated. I was upset. This thing I had loved so much was just not fun anymore. In fact it was a hastle. AND I HAD ALL THAT YARN!
When we went to Europe on vacation I started a pair of socks and they were a struggle. The socks were for me, not gray, but they were cursed. I lost the needles in security leaving Budapest, the foot wasn’t long enough and I had to rip out, I screwed up the heel and had to rip out, sizing was off and I had to rip out…you get the idea. While I pushed those aside I started a shawl. Gray, of course (How do I keep doing gray for me?). But something was different. I was enjoying knitting again. I was, dare I say it, excited. I switched off with the socks and fell in love with these beautiful purplish socks and couldn’t stop knitting.
I don’t know what happened, but I’m happy it did. The socks, which are my first completed project of 2009, need to be photographed and I’m cruising through the shawl. I want to knit again and I’m grateful. I don’t know why I got back into it. Maybe it’s because I made something for me. Maybe it’s because my shawl, gray though it is, is alpaca (drool). Maybe it’s because my hormones are raging, but I want to knit again. I just hope the feeling stays.