Scared and Screaming

Okay, so the title is a bit dramatic. Have I mentioned that I love WordPress? Well I do. It’s the best system I’ve used so far. So two thumbs up from the mediocre programmer over here. One of the things that make me fondle WordPress is the stats programs. I can see how many people have hit my site, where they came from, AND the Google search tags used. Seriously, if I could marry WordPress I would.

Now I’m not a popular person in real life nor am I a popular blogger, journallor, or whatever you want to call it. So when I received almost 60 hits for one day a week back for the Dr. Who scarf (with serious pointing to it by the lovely immlass) I was positively excited. I mean, I’m just as narcissistic as the next person (probably more) and to think that other people could love me just tipped me over the edge of rapture. Then my numbers went down. But that was okay. I had power for one day. I was even on the top 100 list of popular blogs for the day. Granted, it was at 97, but still! Oh, the possibilities. My plan at world domination had begun!

*ahem*

Then yesterday I had another over 50 day. I thought wow, my Husband really loves me to click my journal that many times. Then I looked at the keywords used to search for Google and thought, “Hey! Those are legitimate!” Then I searched on some. This here blog appears on the first page. Then I thought, “Oh crap!” People might read this and people are going to think I’m an idiot. Can I handle that?

Now granted, I know I’m overreacting, but the thought that I’m actually coming up in Google searches is scaring me to no end. Before it happened, I dreamed of the day I would show up and people would click and love me. Because that’s how it happens in crazy land. But that’s not how it happens and I’m now worried that people will really see me as the fraud I know I am. I’ve only been knitting for (ALMOST) two years and while I read up on it and seem to know about it, I don’t really. I can’t really. And people who have been knitting for years look at me and see a complete newbie. And it’s true.

So people, if you are an avid follower or have just stumbled in, please take everything with a grain of salt. But if you want to kiss my feet and praise my prowess as a knitter, please just give me a moment to rinse my feet clean. You don’t know where they’ve been!

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