Okay, So I’m a Bit Cranky

I think I should warn you first. I’m cranky. Capital C-ranky. I slept badly last night so I’m tired and I’m just annoyed. And no, stupid person in the back, it’s not thanks to Aunt Flo, Aunt Irma, or any other cutesie implied relative. Sometimes chicks just get cranky and it has nothing to do with hormones.

Since I’m in such a foul mood, I decided to do a post on what annoys me about running.

Running Skirts

Do we really have to “girliefy” everything? You are running. Put on a damn pair of pants. If you want, make it pink, flower print, or cute little puppy dogs with hearts and flowers proclaiming how you ruff someone. I don’t care, but at least wear pants. I don’t need a skirt to show people that I’m a girl. That’s what the boobs are for. And speaking of boobs…

Sports Bras

Either women with absolutely no chest or men design sports bras,  because no woman over an A cup would throw on a piece of spandex with a “thick band around the bottom and think that will support a woman with breasts that, if not properly strapped in, will poke her eye out. And yes, there are some good sports bras out there, but they are hard to find and are expensive. When I run, I want the girls so squished down that I look like a prepubescent boy. Why? Because it HURTS otherwise. Things move, things pull, then things hurt, and then you’re blind because a nipple poked your eye out and it’s been left at mile 2 because I’ll be damned if I’m going back to squish it back in and ruin my chance to PR.

The fact that I know about PR, bonking, fartlek, etc.

Need I say more?

You don't know from rough. I have to fight crime every day!

Running Free(ish)

Back in November I ran my very first 10k (6.2 miles). My training had issues in October and November thanks to illness, a bad back, and general laziness. Had my training stayed consistent before the event, I would have felt and done much better. My time was pretty good, around 1:10 or so, but at 4 miles I started to really lose it. My left knee just went and each step was painful. Walking was better, but I didn’t want to walk, I wanted to run this race. I’ve since fixed this issue by picking up a Cho-Pat Knee Strap, which I greatly recommend. It’s not meant for all knee issues, but for my type of knee issues, it works great. The pain is mostly gone and my knees feel better overall. Everything is more stable. I just now need a second one because it works well with both knees.  I hope it doesn’t look too dorky to wear them on each knee.

The knee pain was awful enough, but the end of the race made everything worse. Well, let’s just say I have issues ending a race.

For some reason, at the end of just about every race I do, I get dizzy, I can’t run any more, and I start to panic. I don’t think it’s an endurance thing. During a regular run any day of the week, I’m fine. I can go for a 5 or 10k run, and reach the end. I think I get nervous about the people at the finish line which makes the adrenaline (or something) kick in causing the dizziness and then the panic and “ohmygod! I’m going to pass out” starts escalating and I’m in a tailspin of mediocrity and panic. What’s the worst that can happen if I were to pass out? Nothing. Maybe I’d get to go to the hospital and people would send me flowers or presents and I’d be home from work for a couple days! It’s win-win, right? That would be sarcasm people.

Mostly.

I do like presents.

I have to figure out how to fix it, because I don’t like it.  I used to have similar issues before a race, but I think I’ve pretty much squashed them at this point. I still get nervous before a race and have to pee like 75,201 times, but I no longer get dizzy and sick before. I just don’t know what I did to stop it. Maybe it was that I kept doing them? Right now I’m attempting to visualize as I run. When I get towards the end I pretend I’m in a race and that I hear the music and the people. I think about how I would feel and then box it up, calm myself, and try to relax. I once tried to include yoga breathing and the theory of So Hum (which is the sound the universe makes when it breathes, or something), but that had it’s own issues. I have a race on Saturday. We’ll see if this works!

And you thought I was crazy before…(Soapbox edition)

The Husband recently completed his first Ironman! Of course, I braved the heat to watch him do amazingly well throughout the day.

Minutes after the Ironman and he's not falling over!

We all have a visual of what someone competing in an Ironman looks like, right? He or she is either cut with rather impressive (not necessarily big) muscles or just a skinny runner type (like the Husband). That’s not always the case. I was amazed by people competing who looked like normal, albeit pudgy, people. One gentleman I met was a second-time competitor at this Ironman and had at least four more lined up for the year. If you didn’t know he was a finisher, you would think that he might have a heart attack going up the stairs too vigorously.

The following week, the Husband did a short race. I know, I know. Why, if he just spent a little over 13 hours swimming, biking, and running 140.6 miles, would he do a 5k within a week? Wouldn’t he just want to take a couple weeks off to rest? Well, in fact he did take the week off by only doing the 5k and not the 15k on Sunday. As we watched the 9k racers cross the line, I saw someone who was overweight cross the finish line. Let me rephrase that. I watched someone, who society feels is lazy and can’t sit up from eating fried chicken, french fries, and chocolate in front of the TV without getting winded, cross the finish line (not last) after running 9 miles and looking quite good after.

Now, I could tell you that this is an excellent reason why you should never judge a book by its cover. I could tell you that it’s not about size, it’s about health and that so long as you are exercising the size doesn’t matter. I could tell you that stereotypes are stupid and you should try your best not to buy into them. I’m not going to tell you any of that because you are smart enough to realize that on your own. What I am going to tell you is that it was inspiring. All these people you would stereotypically consider to be unfit were doing things that most people in this country would never ever do, no matter how fit. All I’ve ever done is a 5k and a tiny sprint tri and I had rationalized not doing any more because I have bad knees. I felt very wimpy.

Don’t get me wrong. I have had bad knees ever since 6th grade where the joints were apparently overtaxed during a massive growth spurt. At least, that’s what my parents said the doctor said. Ever since then, my knees just never quite were as good as they should be. In high school I tore a ligament in my knee and surgery seemed to make a lot of it worse. But, are my knees really that bad or are they an excuse to get out of doing more? Am I just intrinsically lazy and have an excellent excuse built into my joints? I decided to test it out and challenge myself to a 10k race (that’s 6 miles). Originally, I was going to do the 10k next year, but we found one in November that not only is in my town but goes around my neighborhood. It can’t get any perfect than that, and I’m going to aim for it.

If I can’t do it, then I can’t. At least I’ll know that I made the attempt. Do I see myself doing more? I honestly don’t know. Yesterday I would have said that this was it, but now I’m thinking, if I can do 6 miles, why not 9 or 13? Or even *gasp* 26.2? Yeah, maybe not a marathon. It just sounds boring. I do blame the Husband though.

Dirty Little Secret

You can tell by the title that I have an admission to make. A dirty, little secret. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I just admitted to having a lot of shoes, how can I have more secrets? Well, I do. I’m just a complicated woman I guess. Please feel sorry for the Husband who has to put up with all this drama.

So, where was I? Oh yes, dirty little secret. I actually like running. I know! I’m just as horrified as you. I started running because the Husband made it look like fun. He lied. I kept running because I wanted to see if I could be just as brainwashed as all the limping, knee-busting, PR-attaining, fartlek training, mad runners out there. It took several years, but it’s done. I’m one of the brainwashed masses. I am now working on a sub-30 minute 5k which I have done on a treadmill but not yet outdoors. I purchased running sneakers that I only use for running. I shun cotton t-shirts. I even look forward to the occasional 5k races.

I hang my head in shame.

I figured since today is National Running Day it was as good a time as any to admit my new like for running. If anyone is thinking of trying to run, I say do it. As cliche as it may be, if I can do it, you can do it too. And don’t be all, but you already exercised a lot when you started blah blah blah. I could barely run half a block without wanting to pass out. I am just not designed for running. Sitting on the couch with some knitting watching TV? Yes. Zumba? Sure. Not running. Yet I kept trying.

The thing that kept me running was a weird sense of accomplishment after each run. It felt good to have gone out there and run, even if it was a lame, excuse-ridden, woe is me sort of day. So I kept at it, albeit not regularly and often grudgingly (and not at all while pregnant for fear of shaking OP loose). Recently though, something just clicked (or snapped), and I actually like running. I don’t even cringe anymore when I say that! The mental block I had that prevented me from improving just stopped and suddenly I’m pushing a 9:40 pace easily! The other day I bought a jacket that I thought would work for winter running.

I’ll pause a minute so you can let that sink in.

Winter running. Me.

I wonder what the Husband has put in our water. Could he be whispering in my ear at night? “You will like running…You will like running…” If that’s the case, you’d think he’d go with something more like, “You will stop being cranky…You will stop being cranky…” That would make his life much easier.

So as I said, today is National Running Day. Will I run today? Actually no. I ran yesterday (5k in 29:51!!! on the treadmill). Today I swam and hope to do Zumba. But I’m writing about running and I think that will count as good enough. You can go run for me today.